A letter to my mother.....

As I continue with my therapy, my therapist has given me an assignment of writing my mother a letter, letting her go. I decided to do that here on my blog. I am told this will be the first of many letters to those that have affected me in life. I hope this holds some of the healing power. Dear Bev, What you have put me through these past 34 years is absolutely horrible. You have made it very clear from the time I was little until now that YOU come first and everyone else only matters if it suits you. I was always pushed away, treated like the plague by you. It was always clear who was more important in your life YOU!!!! I have had such a hard time letting go of the past, taking control of my own life and moving forward. I want to let you know that I am moving on, you owe me nothing and I owe you nothing. I am trying to fill the void you left within me with so many unhealthy things, this has to come to an end. i will no longer allow you in my life, I will no longer allow you to take control of me. I will no longer allow you to run my everyday life. You may not even realize you are doing these things, but I have allowed these things to eat me alive. I am letting go. I am letting go of the mother I always wanted as well as the mother you were and still are. I want to thank you for some things...you showed me what I NEVER want to be. You showed me how NOT to treat my kids. You showed me that I want better in my life than you allowed me to have. Good Bye Bev!!!! Kimmie