Mistakes

Somtimes, we do things in life that we know are mistakes. mine is allowing my mom in and out of my life. I want to have that mother figure in my life so bad that i end up hurt in the end. I am trying to build a guarded relationship, and am hoping this time I will be in control. I just hope, that like all the other times, I am not the one left to pick up the damaging pieces. I am not sure she is able to be clean and sober, but I guess in my stupidity I keep on trying.